A beautiful moment

I've increased my duration of mediation recently to an hour in an effort to manage the holiday season with more skill.

This morning I was listening to Shinzen Young (my teacher) go over a "working with the holidays - windows and walls" meditation session from his home practice program.  And for whatever reason I had an experience where I tasted self-compassion for this being that is my "self" and was really able to see/know/feel the difference between the love and support I was given as a child, and what I have provided and now provide for my children.  I was able to give myself the love, support and understanding that I would give my family (born or found).

There are times when I don't feel deserving of that.  Times when I treat myself like someone I don't really care for.  My mind can be a terrible place to walk alone in after dark.

I then continued on, and was appreciating the difference between when I started sitting and where I was at that moment.  A moment of joy.  I was having an awesome meditation session.  Boy I needed it.

 

Then my daughter came in.  She sees me meditating and lets the dog in.

Dad - "Sweetie, can you take the dog back out?"

Aria - "Why?"

Dad - "Because I'm having a nice time meditating and I'd like to not have her licking herself the whole time."

Aria - "…"

Aria - "Well, isn't that just something you sit and listen to then?  Hear it right?"

Dad - "…" <thinking> - Yes, it's all part of my meditation practice, dog licking and all.

Dad - "Yes, you are absolutely right!  You were listening when I taught you!" I beamed

Dad - "Thank you for being my teacher in this moment." I bowed to her

She beamed.  She was so proud.  My heart filled.  I started crying.

Aria - "Are you crying?"

Dad - "Yes, happy tears."

Aria - "I love you daddy."  She comes in and gives me an huge honest hug

Dad - "I love you too Aria."

 

I pause the meditation recording and spend the next 30 minutes laughing and playing catch/keep-away with her and the dog.

 

Now as I sit and reflect and write this I think back and cry again.  Moments like this don't come along every day.  It's important to see them, recognize them, pay attention to them, and appreciate them.

 

This Christmas I wish you at least one moment of Joy.  I hope that you see it as it happens.  I hope that you appreciate it.

 

All my love to you,

Ron